Safe Speed:

[Wolfie]

Birth Kills

After an extensive investigation over 15 years, The Government Camera Group announced their breakthrough findings today. The conclusion is that in almost all cases being born leads to death.

The Government Camera Group has been working on speed up until now, and has been warning us that speed kills, but this has proved ineffective. "There just weren't enough deaths caused by speed to make a real difference" said spokesman: Dicky Brainstorm. "We only had a small handful of deaths where speed was a factor - under 200 each year in the UK. However in every single one of the 585,000 deaths in the UK in 2002, birth was found to be a factor."

Dicky points out: "The correlation is astonishing. We haven't been able to identify even one death that was not preceded by a birth. People need to understand this right now. Clearly birth is extremely dangerous and should be stamped out.

The Government Camera Group calls for cameras to be introduced in Hospital Maternity Wards to monitor anyone who might be stupid enough to give birth. "There will be substantial fines for those that give birth", continues Dicky, "How else are we going to get deaths down?"

Further findings are:

* It takes quite a while for birth to have its deadly effect, "We estimate somewhere in the region of 40 to 100 years" explains Dicky. "Of course, that makes it all the more important that we aim to stamp out birth as soon as possible."

* No other method has proved effective at preventing deaths. "Just look at the billions we have been wasting on hospitals, doctors and medicine!" exclaims Dicky, "And none of it has been successful at preventing deaths."

* There presently seem to be about 6 billion exceptional cases where death has not followed birth. We're investigating.

* It is expected that the birth cameras will be self-financing both in terms of fines and in terms of reduction in health care costs. "It's a win win situation" says Dicky.

Next, The Government Camera Group plans to investigate what the effects will be on population numbers.


Excellent!!!!

 

[Biker Babe]

Birth Kills

After an extensive investigation over 15 years, The Government Camera Group announced their breakthrough findings today. The conclusion is that in almost all cases being born leads to death.

The Government Camera Group has been working on speed up until now, and has been warning us that speed kills, but this has proved ineffective. "There just weren't enough deaths caused by speed to make a real difference" said spokesman: Dicky Brainstorm. "We only had a small handful of deaths where speed was a factor - under 200 each year in the UK. However in every single one of the 585,000 deaths in the UK in 2002, birth was found to be a factor."

Dicky points out: "The correlation is astonishing. We haven't been able to identify even one death that was not preceded by a birth. People need to understand this right now. Clearly birth is extremely dangerous and should be stamped out.

The Government Camera Group calls for cameras to be introduced in Hospital Maternity Wards to monitor anyone who might be stupid enough to give birth. "There will be substantial fines for those that give birth", continues Dicky, "How else are we going to get deaths down?"

Further findings are:

* It takes quite a while for birth to have its deadly effect, "We estimate somewhere in the region of 40 to 100 years" explains Dicky. "Of course, that makes it all the more important that we aim to stamp out birth as soon as possible."

* No other method has proved effective at preventing deaths. "Just look at the billions we have been wasting on hospitals, doctors and medicine!" exclaims Dicky, "And none of it has been successful at preventing deaths."

* There presently seem to be about 6 billion exceptional cases where death has not followed birth. We're investigating.

* It is expected that the birth cameras will be self-financing both in terms of fines and in terms of reduction in health care costs. "It's a win win situation" says Dicky.

Next, The Government Camera Group plans to investigate what the effects will be on population numbers.


Excellent!!!!

My god Andy, where do you find all this dribble from? :dunno: :dunno:

 

[Wolfie]

from dribbleland , or as you know it the internet.

You would believe the amount of crap and dribble i read there........well unless you are a bird memeber that is then you have a fair idea, of how much dribble is said, and the how people just type becuase they have no friends, life, sore hands, green winkle, got the accounts to do, wash up. Did i tell you that i once climb ben nevis??? backwards, on one foot and blindfolded??? No!!! thought not, but did i also tell you that i a riding god and a rock ard biker???? yes, thought i did.

AAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhh that feels better now. :k :k

 

[Biker Babe]

from dribbleland , or as you know it the internet.

You would believe the amount of crap and dribble i read there........well unless you are a bird memeber that is then you have a fair idea, of how much dribble is said, and the how people just type becuase they have no friends, life, sore hands, green winkle, got the accounts to do, wash up. Did i tell you that i once climb ben nevis??? backwards, on one foot and blindfolded??? No!!! thought not, but did i also tell you that i a riding god and a rock ard biker???? yes, thought i did.

AAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhh that feels better now. :k :k

Forgive me O great one..... :bow: :bow: :bow:

 

[Orms]

Just

keep away from sharp things and always use round ended scissors.
Now get back in yer sponge lined room Wiffy man8um

 

[XXLarge]

Keep taking the pills Wolfman.


Got any spare?

R#?

 

[Wolfie]

Dont like lager xxlarge.

Orms yerknob, you had sponge walls but ate them , so you now come on here and insult me!!!!

Go back to buggering arabs yer sponge sucker!!!