Aye bollox tae that
When visiting Norn Irn (Northern Ireland):
A few tips and frequently used colloquialisms on how to make your stay go with a bang (geddit) bang 8rfl@
craic pronounced crack = this has no relevance to the bit that is on show from a builder's jeans.
what's the craic = what's going on, how are you.
how's the craic = is everything ok.
where's the craic at = where is all the fun.
What aboot ye = how are you.
Feck is a colloquialism specific to Norn Irn as in
Feck off = Your presence is no longer needed and you should vacate the persons vicinity ASAP.
Feck me = this is not an invitation to get to know the person intimately, but is an exclamation of astonishment (as in my goodness)
Ye fecking eejit = Your intelligence is being called into question.
Ye fecking eejit = you're a good laugh.
The above statements are made more discernable the more alcohol is consumed.
He kicks with the left foot, he is a left footer.
he kicks with the right foot, he is a right footer.
the above are references to a person's religious bent and on no account should the question of what way are you bent be asked or a good kicking with both foots will be forthcoming.
Uniforms = you will see a lot of uniforms here, everybody has one and they do not all belong to the salvation army. If in doubt a good tip is
Very colourful and the wearer is carrying a bottle of wine = Protestant persuasion
Dark leather 70s look jacket with a ski mask but not carrying skis = Catholic persuasion.
No discernable colour, eating a doughnut and holding a speed camera = 50/50 persuasion, identified only as extremely unfriendly and to be avoided at all costs.
Wine = please be specific in ordering wine, eg, order sauvignon or Chablis etc, if you don't, you will be handed a half bottle of buckfast, otherwise known as Belfast champagne.
Politics = please be aware that Irish/Ulster people are a friendly and nice people. But do not talk about politics. We do not have politicians, we have gang leaders - lots of them. We have the UUP, DUP, PUP, IUP, SDLP, SF, and Alliance, all living together at the top of the hill. We just feed them money and they keep out of the way.
Colours not to pack for your visit = red, white, blue, green or gold.
PS when paying for anything, you will be asked for your "wee" card and you will then receive your "wee" receipt. This is perfectly normal.