A married matelot went into the confessional and said to his priest,
‘I almost had an affair with a wren.’
‘What do you mean, almost?’ the priest said.
‘Well, on a run ashore, we ended up undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest said, ‘Rubbing against is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put £50 in the poor box.’
The matelot left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment patted it and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying,
I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’
‘Yeah, but I rubbed the £50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same !