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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
Saw a council worker deliberately crush a snail under his boot, I asked him “why did you do that?” He replied “cos it’s been following me round all day”
That reminds me - true story, not a joke, a chap from work was home One night and his son drove in to see him.
“Dad, I just hit a deer with the car”
Dad then asks his son “what did you do with the body?”
“I picked it up and stuck it in the boot”
And with that they both went and opened the boot to get the carcase out - as the boot lid opened so the stunned deer got up, shook its head and jumped out and vanished into the night.
“Dad, I just hit a deer with the car”
Dad then asks his son “what did you do with the body?”
“I picked it up and stuck it in the boot”
And with that they both went and opened the boot to get the carcase out - as the boot lid opened so the stunned deer got up, shook its head and jumped out and vanished into the night.
Went to Lakeside yesterday and got bored Shopping with my Wife,
She felt sorry for me. She gave me a £5 and told me to go for a Pint and meet her at the Bus Stop in an hour.
I had a wander around but somehow found myself in the Red-Light District.
Simply being curious I asked one of the girls "How Much"..???
The girl replies, "Forty for all the way, twenty for Oral or a Tenner for A Manual."
I told her I only had £5.
She said, “Sorry, but you won't get much for a Fiver."
So I shrugged my shoulders and continued to wander. I found a Pub, and. then went to meet my Wife.
While we were sitting together waiting for the Bus, the same working girl I spoke to earlier passes by on the other side of the road and recognised me.
She shouts over to me..
"See, I told ya, you wouldn't get much for a Fiver"..
She felt sorry for me. She gave me a £5 and told me to go for a Pint and meet her at the Bus Stop in an hour.
I had a wander around but somehow found myself in the Red-Light District.
Simply being curious I asked one of the girls "How Much"..???
The girl replies, "Forty for all the way, twenty for Oral or a Tenner for A Manual."
I told her I only had £5.
She said, “Sorry, but you won't get much for a Fiver."
So I shrugged my shoulders and continued to wander. I found a Pub, and. then went to meet my Wife.
While we were sitting together waiting for the Bus, the same working girl I spoke to earlier passes by on the other side of the road and recognised me.
She shouts over to me..
"See, I told ya, you wouldn't get much for a Fiver"..
