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Welcome to the new B.I.R.D. Forum. Please be sure to read the "New Member / New Registered ? Please Read" thread in the Coffee Shop. This contains some important information. To become a full member ( £5.90 a year ) simply click on your user name near the top on the right I hope you enjoy the new site ................ Jaws ( John )
Daily Smile thread
- Thread starter Jaws
- Start date
2 female police officer dog handlers on the beat.
One says, "I left my knickers at the station."
The other says, "Let the dog have a sniff of your fanny & he'll fetch them."
The dog returned 20 mins later with her knickers, 2 truncheons and 3 of the desk sergeants fingers!
I've finally come to accept I'm dyslexic and I'll always be dyslexic...
A leotard can't change its spots!
I went to a paraplegic strip club…
The place was crawling with pussy!
My friend said he failed his Aboriginal Music exam.
I said, "Did ya redo it?"
Saw a porn film last night. A woman was giving a hand job to a joiner, a plumber, an electrician and a plasterer...
It was called, "Jack Off All Trades!"
I once got diarrhoea during a golf lesson...
My swing wasn't up too much, but my follow through was brilliant!
I was at a funeral today and I asked the priest for the WiFi password.
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said.
"Okay," I replied. "Is that all lowercase without spaces?"
If you close your eyes and hold a kiwi fruit in one hand, and a testicle in your other hand, it's almost impossible to tell the difference…
It also gets you banned from Sainsbury's!
I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes!
One says, "I left my knickers at the station."
The other says, "Let the dog have a sniff of your fanny & he'll fetch them."
The dog returned 20 mins later with her knickers, 2 truncheons and 3 of the desk sergeants fingers!
I've finally come to accept I'm dyslexic and I'll always be dyslexic...
A leotard can't change its spots!
I went to a paraplegic strip club…
The place was crawling with pussy!
My friend said he failed his Aboriginal Music exam.
I said, "Did ya redo it?"
Saw a porn film last night. A woman was giving a hand job to a joiner, a plumber, an electrician and a plasterer...
It was called, "Jack Off All Trades!"
I once got diarrhoea during a golf lesson...
My swing wasn't up too much, but my follow through was brilliant!
I was at a funeral today and I asked the priest for the WiFi password.
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said.
"Okay," I replied. "Is that all lowercase without spaces?"
If you close your eyes and hold a kiwi fruit in one hand, and a testicle in your other hand, it's almost impossible to tell the difference…
It also gets you banned from Sainsbury's!
I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes!
